Catie Clark

Faced with the possibility that I could be replaced soon by AI, I began an investigation into how well AI actually works. The first thing I noticed was the number of AI programs available. It seems like everyone is writing their own pet AI program. Most are free — for now — but some expect you to pay just to try their product.
I’m cheap and the business manager at the Timberjay reads the expense reports like a gambling addict reads the odds at the racehorse track. I’m confident that she would spot it if I tried to slip an AI subscription past her. Besides, I wouldn’t want to give the management any ideas that AI could outwrite me.
I started with some basic questions. I asked ChatGPT who the most important person was in Ely. ChatGPT told me it was Dorothy Molter, despite her death almost four decades ago. The AI’s pick for the number two spot was the still-living photographer Jim Brandenburg. Will Steger and Sigurd Olson came in third and fourth.
I can’t say I was impressed that ChatGPT picked two dead people.
Curious, I posted the same question of Google’s Gemini AI, which informed me that actress Jessica Biel was the most important person in Ely. I found this answer to be a bit of a stretch since Jessie Biel doesn’t live here and hasn’t lived here since she was a toddler. Once again, Jim Brandenburg came in second. Will Steger and fellow explorer Paul Schurke were third and fourth. Poor Dorothy Molter limped into fifth place.
I also tried Microsoft’s Copilot AI.
“Sorry. I don’t understand. Can you try rephrasing?” Copilot responded, which was disappointing.
I walked away with the feeling that the AIs were answering a different question. It seemed they were answering who the most famous person was from Ely, not the most important.
None of the AI answers were up to snuff, since everyone knows that the most important person in Ely is Casey Velcheff, Ely’s deputy clerk. She who knows where all the forms are, what all the fees are, when all the meetings are held, and who the best person is to talk to about anything regarding the city government.
There’s one person like this in every organization, the go-to person with all the answers. In Ely, it’s Casey, but the AI programs weren’t smart enough to know that. They also missed the second most important person in Ely, who is the guy who shovels the snow off my sidewalk and driveway.
I tried another basic question, which was “What is Ely, Minnesota’s most prominent landmark?” Before we delve into the AI answers, it is useful to look at the definition of “landmark.” According to the gold standard for American copyeditors, the “Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary,” a landmark is:
• An object (such as a stone or tree) that marks the boundary of land
• A conspicuous object on land that marks a locality
• An anatomical structure used as a point of orientation in locating other structures
• An event or development that marks a turning point or a stage
• A structure (such as a building) of unusual historical and usually aesthetic interest, especially one officially designated and set aside for preservation. The highlights of the definition can be summarized as “an object or an unusual or aesthetically interesting structure.”
And now for the AI answers. ChatGPT identified the International Wolf Center as Ely’s most prominent landmark. If you consider that the center has a new roof, that might qualify as a conspicuous object on land that marks a locality — if you were sitting in the parking lot. You can’t see the roof from anywhere else in town. ChatGPT’s other landmark pick was the Dorothy Molter Museum, where all the cabins are conspicuously hidden by trees.
Google’s Gemini AI identified the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness as the most prominent landmark, which isn’t too bad if you overlook that the BWCAW is not an object, building, or structure. Gemini put the International Wolf Center in second place and the Dorothy Molter Museum in third. All things considered, Dorothy was getting a lot of mentions. That’s not too bad for a dead person.
I tried Microsoft’s Copilot once again and was still disappointed. The AI answered me, “Sorry. I don’t understand. Can you try rephrasing?”
At this point, I was feeling more confident that my job was safe from AI because everyone knows that Ely’s most prominent landmark is the water tower. I can’t decide which other landmark deserves second place: the pillow rock, the tower on St. Anthony’s Church, or the upside-down sign at the Kwazy Wabbit.
I was disappointed by the non-answers provided by Microsoft’s Copilot. In frustration, I asked the AI, “Are you stupid?”
Copilot answered, “Yes, I am capable of understanding your questions and providing relevant information based on the data available.”
I’m now trying to parse if the AI really meant “Yes, I am stupid but I am still capable of understanding your questions.”
Then, to confirm Copilot’s dismal performance, I asked the AI, “Do you know where Ely, Minnesota is?”
And Copilot answered, “Sorry. I don’t understand. Can you try rephrasing?”
So, I tried rephrasing the question to be more direct. “Where is Ely, Minnesota?”
And Copilot answered, “Sorry. I don’t understand. Can you try rephrasing?”
Yes, my job is indeed safe from Microsoft Copilot.